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Put in some slow motion, a lot of light flares, and a circular dolly track shot and Michael Bay thinks you’ve got a movie. Add some performance footage of a rock band and I admit it would make a good music video. Maybe Bay should stick to that. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good lens flare, but in this case I think it’s hiding the fact that there’s no story. Honestly, how many dramatic moments deserving of super slow-mo can there be in a movie about toys that transform from cars to robots? It reminds me of that commercial where the marketing team comes up with toys, posters, kid’s meal giveaways, and action figures before they come up with a script. I do like Shia LeBeouf and he manages to still be enjoyable in the midst of Bay’s signature frantic, non-connected, ADR-ed (Automatic Dialogue Replacement) action. But even with Shia I still let this dvd play while I channel surfed to see if there was anything better on.
IF a Transformer was the toy that you slept with every night and never parted from, THEN RENT IT. IF not, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.
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